The question that keep on popping out in my mind recently...
This week is really a hectic week.We have DI for two days, Maths Test, ESL text production essay and the terrible econs assignment. Luckily all have done..somehow I'm relieved and finally can have a nap..As described by Michelle, this is the longest nap I take all these while..haha..Perhaps I just feel relieved..
As time passes. I just can't avoid the fact that selfishness that existed in human is in-born..I come across so much cases..The one that can be so close to you can just change totally out of the sudden..Its so ridiculous..Sometimes I just keep asking myself am I choosing the wrong path at the first place..If I were to choose the second path that time, I guess I am in one of the university in Malaysia now..Leading a simple yet wonderful uni life which I really look forward to..But here, I cant search for any warmth.I'm just overwhelmed with coldness and selfishness..Or perhaps that so called scholar's life?!!Am I able to cope with such life?I don't know...I'm not who I m right now..I'm not supposed to be like that...and this is not the life that I supposed to have..The more I question myself, the more depressed I feel...
I miss the the simple yet wonderful of my past. .with my gang of friends and PBHP buddies..Only when I m with you all, thats my real self..Otherwise, I m just leading life without soul..I understand that we need a weapon to protect ourselves when embarking into the real society..But that's just too harsh for me..Or perhaps all these while I'm just too protected?Perhaps I have never come acrosss this before, that's y I find myself so depressing?Or perhaps thats's just part of life that we can't avoid??Or perhaps what?I don;t know....I have no idea...
I need to go back to where I come from..I need to have a sense of care and warmth..Otherwise I will really go crazy...The place here is too terrifying to me..What can I do besides persisting?
The offer from University Queensland perhaps just come at the right time that can cheer me up at this harsh time..Thanks..
this is the truth of change. no one can deny it. so, lets live with it and be flexible to which ever road u have taken. besides, this is not a destructive selfishness, instead, it is a constructive selfishness to secure a bright future. no one will blame u for that, and everybody understand it.
ReplyDeleteno matter where you are, there will always be a guiding light for u, only whether we wanna find it or we just let it be there.
smile, stay cheerful, generate more positive energy.
with metta,
small gan aka er ge,
sukhihotu.